Is GOD Missing

After a dark couple of weeks, on this Monday life feels a little better.

In thinking about this darkness, I wondered if maybe God is missing? I don’t think of God as an entity, but rather a source of energy, of love. And so if this is the case, I wonder is love missing and in what way? Have I strayed too far? If God/Love exists everywhere, then why would I think it missing? Have I built a wall so high that I can’t see it or feel it?

A-ha! I’m starting to see a little light.

On my walk early yesterday morning, I was thinking about feeling broken. But as I reflected on this idea of being broken, I realized that my spirit wasn’t fully broken. It just had a big crack and I needed some ‘crazy’ glue to mend it. But upon deeper inspection, I thought, maybe it’s not my spirit breaking but rather an outer wall I’ve put up to protect me, to keep me from feeling, from hurting, and loving. And so instead of crazy glue, I thought, maybe I need a little hammer to break it down completely to release the floodgates and be free. I think this is it. This wall, as my brother pointed out, is not just a regular emotional brick, but rather it’s my ego. Is it possible that my ego is dying? In referring to the ego, Deepak Chopra writes, “What (the ego) promises as a completely fulfilling life is an illusion… When you become aware of this defect, the result is fatal for the ego.”

Interesting that instead of any ‘tools’ a mere awareness of the ego does wonder for our spirits. It’s in this simple act of awareness, that we free ourselves from illusion. We return to our ever changing spirit, our soul, God, and love. Unfortunately, in the last couple of days, I had been unable to see this. But here I am now in full awareness.

The piece here is titled “Jesus Caution.” Thanks to a couple of days off this weekend, I finished this piece along with a few others. I was able to work on my art, to sit still, and to reflect. When starting new jobs, relationships, or anything new, we often hear the phrase, ‘proceed with caution.’ But what if, rather than proceeding with caution, we went out into the world with open arms. It may not be what our ego feels most comfortable with, but our spirit pulls us in this often-unfamiliar direction of change, of grace, of an unbound less source of energy moving all around us. As uneasy as it may feel, this is the place I want to live from.

“You can’t ever nail down who you really are. To understand your real self, you have to keep up as it moves. Finding the real you happens on the run.” Deepak Chopra

And so I’m off and running. I’ll never catch it, no need to, but I’ll have a great time trying. It’s the best I can do.

Have a blast of a week. ☺