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Lonely Bologna

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Lonely Bologna

The follwoing are notes from what I wrote early this morning:

"It's a beautiful hot sunny day in downtown LA. I am sunbathing in a little grassy area on the grounds of the Bonaventure Hotel. It is so quiet, I love it! I could barely hear the cars going by, mostly I hear birds chirping away.

There's a slight breeze and it feels so good to be here alone. I cherish my alone moments.

I am reminded of a comment from a boy in high school who referred to me as a "loner." He was telling another boy that he never saw me with friends. It was true that I had no friends at the time. But being called a "loner," made me feel ashamed and embarresed. It's as if he knew my secret.

A few years later while at UC Berkeley, I had a realization that changed my life. Being alone was NOT a bad thing; it 's a bunch of bologna to think so. I realized that being alone with myself meant that I felt not only comfortable with me, but I enjoyed my own company. I could sit alone knowing that there was and is so much love in my life. I have been blessed with amazing friendships that have lasted 20+ year and countings. It seems that as the days and years go by, I am blessed with new and amazing bonds of friendships. I realized that not everyone is lucky enough to "be" alone with oneslf and feel happy, love, joy, aliveness.

I feel all this today as I sit here writing, reading, being quiet, and mostly doing much of nothing.

The piece here is titled "Lost in Her Forest." I chose this piece today beacuse sometimes it feels good to be lost and all alone. Lost in one's world, one's thoughts, one's being. I love the simplicity of this piece; It happedned quite by accident.

Enjoy you, Celebrate you!

p.s. Thank You Jason, my love for allowing me to be here alone in 'our' apartment. And thank you for allowing me the freedom to be me no matter how silly. A few weeks ago in front of you, I sang word for word the Oscar Meyer song of "My Bolgona has a first name; it's O-S-C-A-R. My Bologna has a second name; it's M-E-Y-E-R. Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say, 'cause Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

I feel all this today