Losing My R

It's a hot friday afternoon and I'm feeling pooped from last night. I had way too much to drink and I don't remember everything. I know that Jason and I had our words and I know that I wasn't very kind. He has been very patient and loving to me. I adore him with everything I have. He just stepped out to get his 'crackberry' fixed.

I don't know how it happened, but last night, the silver 'R' around my neck broke off. I've worn it for years and it feels weird not having this necklace around me. I have worn the 'R' backward all these years and I have often been asked why it's backward. I say because "I have lived my life a little differently" and because when I look at my reflection in the mirror it is straight. It is me seeing me.

Appropriately, I woke up this morning with REM's song 'Losing My Religion.' It stirs up so many feelings; too many to try and explain right now. After last night, I have some self reflecting to do. Why would I have to get so ugly drunk? I don't have an answer right now and only hope that my angels Sam and Bill will help shed some light. So beautifully funny that as I wrote these words, Jason called from his old cell phone. He told me that he couldn't find my name in it since it's so old. And so he manually dialed my number and instead of 'Ricky' coming up the word 'Beautiful' came up. I so needed to hear that as I don't feel very pretty right now. Thank you my angles for always listening.

The piece here is titled Frida Sketch #2. It is the final sketch before I trace it. Tracing my Little Girls is my least favorite process in doing my work. I often hesitate doing it. The cool thing is that I have sheets and sheets of all the Little Girls I have traced. They are works of art in themselves and I hope in some day doing a show of just them called Little Girls: Traced.

Anyways, I hope that you have a beautiful friday day ahead and when life is feeling blue, know that you are already beautiful!