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According to an online dictionary, equality- /iˈkwälitē/ is defined as “The state of being equal, esp. in status, rights, and opportunities.”

A few weeks ago while doing a Google search, surprisingly, I found Lincoln on top of a list of 100 icons that shaped U.S. history. I couldn’t agree more. The piece here is titled “Lincoln.” I did this portrait a few months ago; I love it even more now after having seen the movie.

Yesterday after work, though I still wasn’t feeling well, I went to see “Lincoln.” The movie sheds light on a very important time in our history. Personally, I didn’t remember that there was a difference between the Emancipation Proclamation and the 13th Amendment. But it was Lincoln’s insights into equality that really did it for me. I especially loved the scene between Lincoln and his black female housekeeper, Mariah Vance. I couldn’t possibly do it justice in words. I was surprised to find myself teary eyed, almost sobbing. The thought of inequality amongst any of us hit the spot.

Inequality exists not only in our laws, but also in our actions, our words, and even our thoughts. I’m guilty of it myself. Prejudices, however small, create boundaries and keep us from connecting with one another. On many different levels, equality equals freedom. Mandela said it perfectly, “For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

This morning in reading a few passages from Deepak Chopra, he writes, “The essential nature of the universe is the coexistence of opposite values… you cannot be virtuous unless you also contain the capacity for evil.” It made me think of our world then and today. It’s often because our differences and our fears of them that we have inequality amongst us. It made my morning walk a pleasure, my heart felt open. How could I possibly cast any stone when I myself am a reflection of everyone else.

If I can see me in you, and them and there, I can love more easily.

Have a loving lovely weekend.

Uh-oh! I woke this morning not feeling too well. I’m just getting back from a short walk and getting a couple of cans of Campbell soup. It’s my favorite thing to eat when I’m not @100%. It looks like I’ll be spending New Years Eve all alone and calling it an early night. But it’s all good. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling alone. With God's given imagination and all the love in my life, I couldn’t possible feel alone. I’m actually looking forward to a quiet day at home in my pajamas.

As I reflect back on this year, though I went through the most challenging time in my life, I remain grateful. Luckily after 4months, it passed and the world didn’t end. We’re still here!

I’m grateful for the memories of being with my family. I will cherish the times we spent in Tulum Mexico and Puerto Rico. I’m grateful for my friends whom have enlightened my life; I’m grateful for their understanding, compassion, and support. I’m grateful inspiration, that after all these years, I’m still being provided with new ideas. I’m grateful for my dreams, each night I go to sleep, I’m inspired, entertained, and even given guidance.

Last night, I finally finished watching both seasons of MTV’s show Teen Wolf. The boys are beautiful. Surprisingly, they quoted Winston Churchill, “When going though hell, keep going.” I loved this. Through those tough months of what seemed like hell, I kept going, and I survived. I kept walking, reading, writing, drawing, and believing that greatness would come. Surprisingly while going through it, I started my latest series, LITTLE Pop. It’s changed my world. It’s like I get to see the world through color again. The piece here is titled ‘Campbells.’ Warhol inspires it.

At work I like to tell Digby that I made my reservations in hell and that I made sure to get ‘bottle service’ VIP of course! It makes me laugh. Tonight, I won’t be celebrating or drinking, but I’ll look forward to an early morning walk tomorrow. An early morning walk on New Years Day is amazing; it’s like I get the city to myself. As the New Year approaches, I’m filled with a great sense of curiosity.

Cheers to you all, to LIFE! I wish each one of you in this world, peace in your hearts and joy in your eyes.

Ah yes, it’s Friday! Honestly, it feels like it was just the Friday before.

It’s weird to think that the New Year is just a few days away. My sense of time is off, but I can’t complain. It’s a beautiful day!

The piece here is simply titled "Red." It's my second photo from my “LITTLE Solo” photo series. On the first day of taking my first photo I came across a few other red cups. Since taking that first photo, I haven’t taken another. As I’ve walked around LA, keeping my eyes open for these red cups, they aren’t anywhere to be found. Today again, I came home empty handed. It’s like the more I look, the more I won’t see them. I realize that searching for them is useless. It’s like life. Life doesn’t happen while looking for it; life happens when we are in it, completely surrendered. It’s the law of non-resistance. Rilke said it perfectly, ““May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.”

And since I’ve decided to stay home and do some housecleaning, I’m going to think of it as playtime. After a little breakfast I’m going to play some Melody Gardot on Pandora and start rocking. Where do I begin? Kitchen... definitely the kitchen.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Ah yes, it’s finally XMAS Eve. I’m loving the drizzly day.

After a little work, I’m driving up to Ontario to spend time with the family. After almost 45 years, I still love it and none of us have ever missed it.

In honor of XMAS and of a little something red, the piece featured here is titled “Red 12.” It’s my very first piece from my photo series, “LTTTLE Solo.” I’ve been anxiously waiting to do it. And thankfully to my coworkers/friends I’m finally able to pursue it. They gave me a digital camera for XMAS! I’ll always think about them when I see this piece. (Thank you Digby, Annatte, Sam, and Sadiero).

A few months ago my old camera gave out, but the idea started while vacationing with my siblings in Tulum, Mexico. My little sister Blanca started singing Toby Keith’s song, “Red Solo Cup.’ Somehow the lyrics stuck in my head and when I returned to LA, it seemed like this red cups were everywhere. Because I walk so much in LA, I’d come across them in the strangest of places. I wondered not only about whom left them behind, but about what they were drinking. Where did they come from and why/how they came to be discarded. Most interestingly, I usually see them lying around solo as if they never belonged to anyone.

In some strange way, I see myself every time I see them. Not because I’ve been discarded, but because I realize that there’s more to meet the eyes than what we see. I often wonder what others see about me; there’s a story behind me, behind all each one of us. If we look behind what our eyes see, we can see each other. We see a connection and not just a single one of us. We are not solo; we are together.

“Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let's have a party, let's have a party.”

Merry XMAS. Cheers and Blessings on this Holiday Season.

I’m back! I took a little week holiday break from writing. Last Monday, I woke up with not a clue about what to write so I decided that after almost 3 years of writing consistently, I’d take a break.

I’m also just getting back from my morning walk. While out and about, I picked up this weeks LA Weekly and to my surprise I found an article about local LA multimedia artist Aaron Axelrod. And though I wasn’t familiar with his work, the article intrigued me. I came home and immediately logged onto Axelrod’s website. His “Freedom From The Press” pastel drawings are amazing! I loved that as a young kid, his parents supported his creativity. How special is that.

I also learned of something new, a psychedelic brew called Ayahuasca, which he experimented with. Axel says, “That opened my mind to everything. It kind of took away my ego.” And taught him that life is all about new experiences and being happy. I now want to try it myself. Umm, where can I find some?

Many years ago, my brother once asked me about what I felt about having experimented with drugs. I told him that I thought it killed some brain cells and kept me from overanalyzing everything. The piece here is a portrait of my brother; it’s titled ‘Johnny.’

Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” This quote started off the article about Axelrod; it’s what got me reading. Personally, I’ve always felt like an artist. Thankfully, I have kept it up the older I grow. And the older I grow, the more childlike I see we remain.

May you find the artist in yourself; may you grow up to be whom you imagine. May you imagine everything possible.

Cheers.

So what do Hitler, Barbie, and the Gerber Baby have in common? They were all part of my LITTLE Pop Art Show on Thursday night. They were the last 3 portraits I completed. After thinking I was all done, I realized that these 3 iconic figures were meant to be part of my beloved exhibit. It’s interesting that, regardless of how we come to view them icons come in all different shapes and figures. They shaped and shape our world.

Installing the exhibit was somewhat amusing. At first glance it may seem that the portraits were randomly placed, but upon closer inspection one will notice a well thought out pattern. Hitler, for example, hangs right next to the Dalai Lama and Mandela. Above him is Jesus. Not only is he amongst great men, but he also looks gay. Right below him is Leigh Bowery himself, as he had done a ‘patch’ portrait of Hitler from leftover pieces given to him by Lucian Freud.

Overall, it looks beautifully put together. And even though I’m grateful for the opportunity to display my work at Flgiht001, unfortunately, it isn’t at a respected gallery or place that would give me recognition. But in writing this I also understand the importance of letting go and of continuing my work.

As I move onward, I realize that there are a countless many other iconic figures like Michael Jackson, Mother Theresa, Shakespeare, Snoopy, Lady Gaga, The Mona Lisa, and Gandhi just to name a few. I’m curious as to how many more of these I will add to the series, as I already have a new series in mind. I’ll trust in God and imagination.

The piece here is my portrait of Hitler. Surprisingly it’s my favorite piece from the show. As I mentioned in my last post about Leigh being a ‘beautified monster’, the Hitler piece is my ultimate portrait of a now ‘beautified’ monster.

Anthony Hopkins once said, “I am able to play monsters well. I understand monsters. I understand madmen.” I believe there is compassion in his words. We all have our own monsters to bear. What we see ugly in another is part of who we are. With a little compassion comes freedom.

Let freedom ring and monsters live.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but monsters will never hurt me.

Last night I dreamt about being attacked by giant 10-foot chickens/roosters.

This dream was followed by yet another more interesting dream. I was deployed to 1940’s Nazi Germany. When our helicopter landed safely, everyone got off, but myself; I was taken to another secret location. We landed at a ritzy Nazi occupied hotel. I was left alone without instructions or any personal belongings. Once the helicopter parted, I was escorted, by the concierge, to the pool area where Nazi onlookers stood shocked in seeing me in USA uniform. Because I was without belongings, I dived into the pool fully clothed. A Nazi Commander carrying a loaded rifle followed me in. The rifle like a sharks fin remained above water. I woke up.

I woke up thinking about whether or not I should do a LITTLE Pop portrait of Hitler? Good or bad, there aren’t many bigger icons than him. He changed the face of our world. As the morning unfolded, I realized I must. I will begin work on it shortly. I already have a vision in mind.

This morning while riding the stationary bicycle at the gym, I started reading Tom of Finland’s biography. Only 28 pages in and man-o-man it’s already intriguing. There’s talk of uniforms, World War II and anonymous sex. In regards to World War II and its blackouts, Tom’s biographer F. Valentine Hooven III writes, “All over Europe during this period, the bizarrely quiet war turned cities…into sexual playgrounds.” Reading these details felt like Europe during war had become one giant sex club for men in uniforms.

I love the synchronicity of life, my dreams (of cocks and war) and this biography. Deepak Chopra writes, “Synchronicity is choreographed by a great, pervasive intelligence that lies at the heart of nature, and is manifest in each of us through what we call the soul.”

After 2+ years of not having sex, is it possible that my ‘soul’ and I need to get laid? A-ha!

Since I won’t be revealing my Hitler piece until after my show this Thursday, here’s a Hitler piece I did from my LITTLE People series. It’s titled, “Imagine Peace.” A yes, it all sounds so good.

Good Morning. Where has it gone already?

I’m just getting back from a little workout at the gym. In the corner of the gym floor, I found a copy of New York magazine. On the cover was a portrait of President Obama by artists Craig Redman and Karl Maier. I felt a little sadness seeing it. I picked it up and brought it home. Though I was unfamiliar with their work, the portrait looked like one of my latest digital pieces. I wondered if I would ever end up in any magazine cover or if I’d get recognition before dying?

Aside from eating, I’m spending the rest of my day finishing up touches for my art show on Thursday at Flight001. The show is a tribute to Leigh Bowery. After a few months, I just finished his autobiography. Surprisingly he was buried in the nude. And this past week, I re-watched his documentary; surprisingly for only the second time ever. In it he’s referred to as a clown and a beautified monster. I loved this phrase; I can relate to it.

MY LITTLE Pop series is in a sense a beautification process. In the end the question remains whether these icons retain their visibility or are they transformed into ‘beautiful monsters?” Or maybe even as Les Child said about Leigh, "someone beyond definition." I’d like to think that like Leigh, they can be all three.

The piece featured here is my own portrait of President Obama. It a set of six images that show a sort of step by step progess of the eventual final image. Will it and I, one day get recognition? What do I have to do without losing site of who I am? Presient Obama once said, ““If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress.”

I guess I’ll keep walking, walking and walking. And as for the copy of New York Magazine, I'm keeping it as a reminder that recognition is on its way.

Happy Weekend!

A few weeks ago I started an online meditation challenge with Deepak Chopra. It’s been an interesting experience. Because I started a day late and missed one day, I’m two days behind; otherwise I would have finished up today. On Wednesday once I’m done, I’m going to continue on my own and see how it goes.
Though I sit quietly for 15 minutes, on the inside my mind is usually racing, especially today. I kept thinking about my art show next Thursday. I’ve got lots to do today. But it’s work I like doing. So far, it’s looking beautiful. I’m excited and curious!

The piece here is a snapshot of the work I’m doing today in getting ready. My apartment is a mess, a good mess.

In thinking about this upcoming Art Show, I realize that I’ve been living as an artist for the past 15 years. And yet after all this time, I still feel a great sense of invisibility. Because I haven’t had the recognition or success I would like, I question whether or not my work really matters. But as I continue onward, I know that this feeling of invisibility will pass and it will not discourage me from doing the work that I most love. Being an artist is who I am and will always be. No matter what!

“Let's just say that I think any person who aspires, presumes, or feels the calling to be an artist has a built-in sense of duty.” – Patti Smith

The beautiful thing about this meditation challenge is that I have done so without expectation. I haven’t done it to be a better man nor to have a better life. I’ve meditated because it feels like the good thing to do. Slowly, this feeling of invisibility fades away and connections feel possible.

May everything in your life be filled with a great sense of possibility.

What a beautiful sunny Saturday in LA. I love this city!

As I was walking to work early Wednesday morning and thinking about gratitude, the first thing that came to mind was my beloved city and this area called Miracle Mile. I’ve lived in this neighborhood for the past 15 years. I love everything about it, especially the name. It feels good here; it’s my home.

Throughout life, I’ve been very blessed. The list of people and things to be grateful for is endless. In referring to his unorthodox life of drinking, taking drugs, and smoking, dancer Michael Clark was quoted as saying, “If I hadn’t lived that life I wouldn’t have felt so inspired. It was living that made me want to dance.” In coming across these words, I got teary eyed. I felt the same way about my art. For over 25 years, I’ve loved every minute of going out to the clubs here in LA, NYC, and SF. I’ve met an amazing amount of people who have inspired me and altered my way of seeing our world. It takes great courage to share and explore ones ideas and uniqueness. When I’m feeling down, I like to remember the endliss list of memories and people I’ve come across while ‘partying’ it up. It's been a MIRACLE.

The piece here is titled “Raja.” Rupauls Drag Race winner inspires it. When I first moved back to LA, Raja was one of the first drag queens I came to admire. I first saw him perform at OZ in Buena Park. I have some fond memories of those drunken days. During the LA fires, his first time performance of Chaka Khan's 'Through The Fire' (at the old Peanuts) remains to be one of my favorite all time drag performances. It was GENIUS! In recent years, I’ve been lucky enough to hang out with Raja. He’s a great talent and a beautiful human being.

Boris Yeltsin once said, “It is especially important to encourage unorthodox thinking when the situation is critical: At such moments every new word and fresh thought is more precious than gold. Indeed, people must not be deprived of the right to think their own thoughts.” His words are beautifully and poetically said. I wonder if Mr. Yeltsin had the opportunity to meet drag queens of his own? I think he would have appreciated their courage.

As for this weekend, I’m laying low. I love a good quiet Saturday.